Find What’s Right With You

You wake up on edge, like something bad is going to happen. You have trouble trusting people, even those closest to you. You go from calm to angry to sad in a second. You’re terrified of betrayal or abandonment. You’ve lived through traumatic events that kept on happening, in a context where someone(s) held power over you, and your survival adaptations are now stuck running the show. 

You’re constantly worried about things, big and small, and your mind likes to race about things in the past or the future. Your muscles are tense, and headaches or stomach aches are the norm. You have sudden, intense feelings of fear that seem to come out of nowhere. Your heart races, you feel dizzy, you feel afraid of losing control. 

You have a deep feeling that what you’re experiencing didn’t start with you. You might even see the patterns playing out in your family and in your own life. And you’re committed to be the one to break the chain, not just for yourself, but for those who came before you and those who may come after.  

You haven’t felt the same since that thing happened. You can’t stop thinking about it, or you avoid reminders at all costs. Sometimes you feel scared to go to sleep because of the nightmares, and your friends keep asking why you’re so jumpy. You just want to move on.